Happy Birthday Dear Harvey

Tony asks a great question on his blog:

“Do you think that Christian leaders who publicly support same sex marriage, gay rights, etc., should be pushed out of the closet?“

I think Harvey, whose birthday it is today may have a few insights. Happy birthday to a man I never met, but admire deeply.

“I cannot prevent anyone from getting angry, or mad, or frustrated. I can only hope that they’ll turn that anger and frustration and madness into something positive, so that two, three, four, five hundred will step forward, so the gay doctors will come out, the gay lawyers, the gay judges, gay bankers, gay architects … I hope that every professional gay will say ‘enough’, come forward and tell everybody, wear a sign, let the world know. Maybe that will help.” Harvey Milk, 1978

And:

“I fully realize that a person who stands for what I stand for, an activist, a gay activist, becomes the target or the potential target for a person who is insecure, terrified, afraid, or very disturbed with themselves.” Harvey Milk

I find the way the Tony phrases the question, asking if a person should be “pushed out,” to be interesting.

Knowing my own story, and knowing the story of Harvey, and the lives of so many other Harveys–perhaps at one time afraid, living in secret, or perhaps quietly supporting but not necessarily speaking up or out, and perhaps confronted with love, and wanting to live more fully into love, whatever that looked like (the right person for the job, a romantic interest, a family member, a book deal…)–I would respond this way:

I don’t think anyone should be pushed. But if your conscience, your inner compass, your time dwelling in the Word (if that is your schtick) and your time talking with G-d tells you that this is an issue of justice, of love, of what is right, then yes. I think all leaders should stand, speak and proclaim what they believe. Gay, Lesbians, Bisexual, Transpeople, Queer/Questioning, Intersexed, friends, pastors, family members, all ya’ll.

This has two purposes: One, for leaders, specifically Christian, it is your call, your duty to preach and proclaim G-d and G-d’s love and Kingdom as you understand it. Now, we may come to a different understanding (I bet we will, I hope we do!), but that does not mean you should not proclaim. Two: as the hearers of you proclamation, we can make healthy, honest, good, discerning decisions about how to wrestle with, deal with, or perhaps challenge your understanding.

And I am grateful that Tony has stepped out and done what he has. G-d grant us the courage to speak truth in love, always.

why I use queer

I find the older I get, the more I have come to appreciate language. My mom, my sister and my beloved are all word nerds.

As with the church world and its own special brand of ‘christian-ese‘, it seems every tribe and subculture has its own way of speaking, its own language, and it is not any different in queer culture. Queer language can tend to focus on sex and words to describe, attract, acquire it. However, being on the outside looking in, trying to understand, even the most normal, widely-used, simple terms tend to get misunderstood. An example came across my facebook page this week. A bad tweet from the LA Times, set the twitterverse on fire with tweets announcing (INCORRECTLY) that Prop 8 had been overturned. I of course retweeted, in kneejerk (dumbass I might add) fashion, and then learned of the mistake seconds later. So, I updated again and deleted the tweet. A friend, based on what I just written, asked what I was talking about. I was confused by her confusion. I thought I was so clear.

It got me to thinking. What words do I use as an insider to the queer community that mainline Josie Anyone find confusing or offputting? How can I clearly articulate universal themes like love, compassion, generousity, and justice when talking about my tribe?

Queer is one of those words that has a long history of rage, hate, violence and oppression behind it. It also has a brighter side: Scottish in origin, it meant “strange, peculiar, eccentric.” (Ok, to me this sounds brighter–I SO hear myself in these words.) In looking around on the interwebs, trying to understand the various (because the community is nothing if not various) opinions on this word. Here, a gay man explains how it should not be used. Here is an article I LOVE, sort of going on and on, a sort of inner brain talking to oneself ramblng of all of the possibilities of the word, its history, its present and past.

But the title of this post is why do I, me, Rachel, use the word queer. Not Sally, Joel or Sammy. Me.

Here it is. I am queer because I am connected to a larger story of a community of people that have been to often oppressed and misunderstood. Although I identify as bi-sexual, my heart, longing and passion for the rights (and joy to live a free and honest and happy life) for my gay, lesbian, trans-_________, intersex, allys, bi-gendered, questioning, and on and on and on the labeling goes (where it stops nobody knows) is endless. I use queer because in it I am bound to a larger community of people for whom deserve to love and be loved. I find the word to be radically inclusive, wildly open and that is why I use it.

What about you? Where you at with this word?

3 things

1. Nadia, over at Sarcastic Lutheran, wrote a sermon that quite frankly, blows. my. mind. If you have read her book, have heard her preach or have read her blog–awesome reflecting on the world around her and connecting it to the story of G-d is not anything radical and/or new. However, I think her sermon for Easter 4b is so amazing I just want to tell everyone, GO, read it. The money quote for me: “I think maybe that we can’t actually know what this Jesus following thing is about unless we too have the stranger show us.”
   

   Queermergent

2. A huge welcome to those of you who might be over here for the first time from Queermergent, and a thanks to Adele for crossposting my ‘A Team’ post. Seriously, welcome. I am thrilled to have you and would love to get to know you better. Say hi.
3. Speaking of Queermergent, there is an event coming up in the Twin Cities in October (Christianity 21), and Adele and I were talking the other day about perhaps connecting some QM friends while we are there. What do you think? Are you planning on coming? (you should) Would you consider coming if something were hosted? (as if the line-up itself was not already kick-ass) Would you want social plus content? Either/or? Both/and? We are still a few months out, but I’d love to hear what your thoughts are.