(G0)Proud? Hardly.

Wow. Is there something in the water? Seems like every week there is a headline with some not-so-surprising (Ricky Martin, thank you for finally coming out) and some just downright shocking (like Laura Bush?!?) people coming out, either as queer themselves or as a supporter of same sex (gay) marriage. Its a beautiful thing to behold really—and first, please hear me loud and clear—I am GRATEFUL. But I got a bone to pick, so I’ma go ahead and pick it.

Yesterday in an article posted on Episcopal Cafe, they quoted Bruce Carroll, GOProud Board Member (GoProud.org) as saying:

“It will be impossible for the gay community to achieve equality of opportunity without the support of conservative voices like Laura Bush. I further hope my friends on the left note that now we have members of the Bush, Cheney and McCain families in support of marriage, but no Obamas or Bidens.”

Now come on, really?

1. In this interview with Laura, she states very clearly she has felt this way since the ’00 and ’04 elections. So why now? Why couldn’t she say this when in she was beside her husband while he was in office?
2. Both George (W. Bush) and John (McCain) have also had to come out in this process, and they have NOT AT ALL changed their position on the issue.
3. What does the Republican platform have to say? Yeah, not so much on MY families values.
4. I hope that more courageous people come out of the closet themselves or in support of their hairdressers, kids, kids friends, and so on. Still, its one thing to say you support—and still another to work on behalf of your party to change the platform. When that happens—I will personally say thank you and even chuck in a contribution, mark my words.
5. While we are at it—some have pointed out that Cheney has come out in support of same sex marriage rights. And he has, at the STATE level, and has unequivicolly said he would not support changes at the federal level. Unless changes eventually lead to federal level (think filing your federal returns, federal student loans, medicare, etc.) none of it matters a hill of beans.

Honestly, I am all for amazing women like Laura Bush and Cindy McCain coming out as allys. But lets just keep it real. You want to throw stones at the Obama and Biden families for not coming out? Spare me (till after they are out of office), please.

Obama, are you listening? Its time to start putting your words into action. Its getting a little cold out here–defending what you say you believe but have not had the political balls willpower to do. Laura is right, this is a generational issue. You rallied a whole new younger generation to stand with you, and believe we could. Can you?

picture this: love and family

Can you imagine being asked to go through your home to remove all images & traces of your relationship/spouse/love? This, my friends, is what I did before laying my head down to sleep last night. Remember the story about “Sam?” Well, the story continues. Sam, graduates today (YAY Sam!).

Sam’s whole family is in town—parents, grandparents, close “friend” (ummm hello, girlfriend), close “friend’s” whole family (I know right, whole family.)—all to celebrate what my amazing young friend has done. Its an exciting day. And its just at the very tail end of keeping up appearances. We have been asked to be a part of the whole keeping up with appearances. Out of love, we have said yes.

Sam’s family is coming over today to see the home that Sam is moving into. Her parents, like any loving parents, want to see the first place  their baby will live in after she graduates from college. We have been that place for her. She DOES have her own room in our home. She has keys and can come and go as she wants and needs to. But today is the parent visit, and Sam, is not out.

We have a beautiful home. Its not a gay home, its a home. It doesn’t have gay family pictures, it has FAMILY pictures. We have a wonderful kitty, who adores Sam, who has never noticed that we are gay. But were we to not de-gay’ify the house, Sams family would know–that we are not just roommates—Sweetie and I—they would know we are family. And right before the big reveal, that is just too risky.

But as wonderful a thing it has been to be who we are with Sam, having to hide away our love, our family, still hurts. A lot. I posted the opening line of this post on facebook last night and my dear friend Lindsey said it best I think when she said

“No, I can’t imagine that and the fact that it is difficult for me to imagine really makes me pause and reflect on my straight-privilege. I humbly hold you in my prayers.”

Friends, this whole experience of mentoring, loving, and helping a new young queer girl from an evangelical family has been so wonderful, challenging, frustrating, joy-filled; I would not trade it for all the tea in China (I love tea).

Though most of you who read this either know me personally and are already on board with the LGBT love, persuit of happiness, and letting me live my life the way that I do. But I can’t help but wonder—to my straight married friends—what would it be like for you to go through your home, and remove all images of your family, so as to not appear straight.

Reminds me of this wonderful little commercial.