When do you know when it is right to speak up, right to say something, because you know without a shadow of a doubt that noone else in the room will offer what you have to say, and what you have to say is weighing heavily on your heart? and when is it time to stay quiet and just listen?
And how do you stand up for your voice, when you know that it has not been classically trained, seminary trained, trained with the criteria and credentials that your roomates and meeting sharers have?
Ahhh, the ministry of the baptized. The life of a lay person in the church. I have got "street cred" up the wazoo. What I don’t have is a piece of paper and time served in some fine institution. This is the struggle I have been wrestling with for a very long time. Many of you know that I tried (gave it a good ol’ college try) to enroll and do school last fall. For many reasons, grief, life, new job, new home, new partner, it did not go so well for me. Oh – I got out without any failing grades, but did not fare well as far as work / life / school balance. I was about as unbalanced as any time I can remember.
So, now I am back to these thoughts. What is my path? Do I need an education (the old fashioned way) to make a difference in the world that I live? Some days, yes. Some days, no.
For today, I will listen. I will listen to my friends at the tables of conversation that I am invited to. I will listen to the Spirit of God stirring in my heart. I will listen to my friends and family tell me things about myself that I may not know, or may need reminding on. I will listen and sit and wait. At least until the wedding is over. After that – God only knows. Amen.