finding my voice

Canuhearmenowhello? voice? are you in there?

When do you know when it is right to speak up, right to say something, because you know without a shadow of a doubt that noone else in the room will offer what you have to say, and what you have to say is weighing heavily on your heart? and when is it time to stay quiet and just listen?

And how do you stand up for your voice, when you know that it has not been classically trained, seminary trained, trained with the criteria and credentials that your roomates and meeting sharers have?

Ahhh, the ministry of the baptized. The life of a lay person in the church. I have got "street cred" up the wazoo. What I don’t have is a piece of paper and time served in some fine institution. This is the struggle I have been wrestling with for a very long time. Many of you know that I tried (gave it a good ol’ college try) to enroll and do school last fall. For many reasons, grief, life, new job, new home, new partner, it did not go so well for me. Oh – I got out without any failing grades, but did not fare well as far as work / life / school balance. I was about as unbalanced as any time I can remember.

So, now I am back to these thoughts. What is my path? Do I need an education (the old fashioned way) to make a difference in the world that I live? Some days, yes. Some days, no.

For today, I will listen. I will listen to my friends at the tables of conversation that I am invited to. I will listen to the Spirit of God stirring in my heart. I will listen to my friends and family tell me things about  myself that I may not know, or may need reminding on. I will listen and sit and wait. At least until the wedding is over. After that – God only knows. Amen.

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2 thoughts on “finding my voice

  1. Do you need a college degree or a credential to be an important voice in your chosen field? No. You need passion. Check. But you could also look to other types of educational tools that would alleviate your self-doubt and refine your voice: one-off classes that are easier to handle than a whole semester, reading (check), involvement (check), and mentoring. Remember: success breeds success. When you begin to doubt your voice, remember all the times you’ve been brilliant and respected. It seems silly but often allowing yourself to let your voice out is just the things that makes others notice and listen. 98% of expertise is practice and passion. Do you really want to kick yourself or waste your already valuable time for a piece of paper that adds only 2% to your calling? All in good time.

  2. as your old astrology friend, i’m curious about these thoughts, as I too have struggled with this (your sweetie saw it all happen) There is truth that passion makes things happen….not sitting in a room for hours and walking away with debt and a diploma. No that it’s a bad thing, but when you have the experience and street goods, no classroom will give you anything close. Now, from my astrological perspective this looks to me like the north/south node struggle…what does it really mean to be just one in a group and remove ego from the task in front of us? What does ego feel like? How do we feel when we walk away without saying something vs. saying something? How do we feel when what we think is slighted? Just some thoughts to ponder as you figure out what you need to do.

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