dry as toast, without butter

ShineyCall comes in the other day –
a chat comes across my screen –
someone stops by the desk:

How are you?

Ever feel like that is a very loaded question? So simple, and if we (and when I say we, I mean me) wanted to be honest, the answer would be something like this:

Whine whine whine, bitch bitch bitch, petty other crap that keeps cropping up, feeling insecure, feeling unloved, and other random shit that just speaking frankly, DOES NOT MATTER in the big picture of it all.

Fear: I am becoming the needy friend, the drama queen my mother always told me I was. Sarcastic Lutheran posted brilliantly about this the other day, in her post The Problem With Christian Love. I keep going back to that post, because I am not only the one who is annoyed, but I am the annoyee.

Reality: I will not be that person. I will tell myself over and over and over , until I begin to believe it. Ok – lets try this one more time:

How are you?

Answer:     Fan-freakin-tastic, delighted to have been given one more day. I am wonderful, I am blessed, and I am loved. How are YOU?

Prayer (shamelessly ripped off from Sarcastic Lutheran):

Dear God,
Some of your children are extremely irritating and honestly, difficult
to love. I don’t really want to be around these people, but know that I
am called to reflect your love to them. This is really gonna need to
come from you. Pony up the extra measure if you don’t mind, because
I’ve got nothin’. Remind me that you, and not my personality, are my
source, and that that is an endless source.


2 thoughts on “dry as toast, without butter

  1. Having been this person numerous times before–and certain that I will be again–I think part of the challenge of being the annoying & needy person is getting beyond the whining & kvetching, figuring out and then naming the real issue(s). For me it was: How are you? I am AFRAID. Afraid things won’t work out, afraid no one notices me, afraid I won’t survive this, afraid no one loves me, afraid to be alone, afraid I won’t know what to do when I must do something …
    I found my center, my calm, & my happiness when I realized that although I can’t know all the answers, I don’t have to be afraid of what happens next. And that I do have some power over what happens next.
    I’m still afraid of a lot of things, but knowing & owning that I create 99.9% of my own fear helps me let go of it faster.
    Swan, you are loved and you are not alone and you have more power than you allow yourself to know!
    Now the next question: why are we (and I do mean me) so attached to drama? It IS exciting even if we know it’s bad for us. Anyone?

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