Does it get easier?

As I eluded to in the previous post – yesterday was the 2 year anniversary of my mom being found, deceased, after being a missing person for almost 7 years. Sunday is Mothers Day in the US. Typically – it is my least favorite of "holidays." I guess you would say for obvious reasons, I don’t have one, nor am I a mother myself.

The inbox is getting littered with "Mothers Day" reminders, offers, and ways to do something in honor of this day. (barf – sorry moms and daughters in which this day hold immense joy) This year – I’ll be with my sweetie, on a little mini-holiday in Chicago. With any luck – the day will pass without any fanfare, and I’ll have a lot of fun in a city I have never been to.

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Yesterday – to honor my mom – I worked out in the yard. I sweat. I pulled weeds. I listened to my little iPod shuffle, and danced. Yes – danced. Like full on night club discotheque action right there, in front of the fireplace in the backyard, with earbuds in, I twirled in the night air. I took the dead sticks from all over the yard, bundled them up, and burned them, and grooved my bad-ass self. I am sure the neighbors thought I was nuts. I felt a little crazy actually. But – oh how it felt so wonderful.

I really miss her. Call me crazy, call me a victim, call me what you will. Today, it hurts. Today – I miss her.

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3 thoughts on “Does it get easier?

  1. I’m with ya sister. Literally and figuratively. I wish I could have been shakin’ my groove thang with you.

  2. swandive, I am sorry to read about this incredibly painful tragedy. I cannot imagine your sadness.
    Wishing you dancing and, in time, not the loss of the pain, but an equal measure of joy in memories and love.
    Pax, C.

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