My former roommate is getting married today. The priest who married aka blessed, celebrated, did the sacramental Holy hokey-pokey with (because that IS what its all about right?) my sweetie and I, led the rehearsal last night and it took me right back to where we were almost a year ago.
I am not sure if you married people (or divorced) remember your wedding rehearsal. I do. Of course it’s the lead up to the big day shin-dig, just a little more technical. But with our priest, she began that rehearsal and set into motion a sort of 48 hours of holiness. She talked about what it is that we are actually saying. She asked the family, spouses and friends sitting there as the mock congregation to actually shout out at the appropriate times "WE WILL!"
There is almost nothing about the big few days last year that I don’t remember. She (our priest) reminded us, as did my sweeties brother, to drink in every second. It only comes once (God willing). She said those same words last night to our former roommate and his to be beloved. I hope they heard it.
My sweetie and I have been to a number of weddings since ours. Every time, it has been the wedding of our straight friends and family. Each time we go, I am struck. What makes us so different? What makes our love so threatening that we cannot be recognized, like straight people, in the eyes of our country? I watch these holy moments and each time, my heart breaks just a little for my sweetie and I, and for all queer people who want to get married. Not just blessed, or committed (like we are mental patients). We don’t care about the gifts, although people are very generous. We don’t care about the party. We want the whole built in name change, the right to see and be with our spouse in the hospital, the right to take care of one another – without spending a million dollars and a lot of time and effort to make sure that no one can take that away from us.
Today we will celebrate and honor my friend and his beloved. It is truly a joyful thing. With more love, more joy, more celebrations of this blessed sacrament, maybe we can turn the consciousness of this country around.