paying attention

"Everyone should carefully observe
Which way his heart draws him
And then choose that way with all his strength."
-- Hasidic saying

This saying for me embodies what it is that I am trying to do, focusing on LOVE. I am trying to direct, or in some cases re-direct, my attention, my heart, what I see and how I respond to where my heart is leading. I am a double cancer, in some ways I have always been led by my heart, my emotions. What this new task for me has been is to follow the good emotions, the love – and leave the bad habits, the crappy-guilt ridden stuff behind.

Its not easy.

I like this saying so much – so much wisdom packed into less than 20 words. The first line calls me (us) to pay attention, to ‘carefully observe’. Hard to do when your plate is full. Even harder if you have for most of your life focused on someone elses (fill in the blank) and not your own. I don’t know about you, but I have gotten so used to looking to see how I can help someone else, that it has taken the love of my sweetie, friends and some sheer determination on my own part to focus on my own stuff.

And still I fail. But I just get up the next day and find the up-and-at-em’ attitude. Today is a new day, a do over, to listen to my heart beat – listen for the places that fill my spirit, listen to God speak quietly to my deepest joy-spots. Then, choose, and choose again to follow my bliss with all of my heart, all of my strength, all of my mind.

In the words of prayer offered by Anne Lamott "Help me, help me, help me" and "Thank you, thank you, thank you." Amen.

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