Today marks exactly 9 years since you were here. 9 years. WOW. I can’t believe its been this long, and then again, it feels like an eternity. So much has happened.
I know you are with me, I wish I could feel it more though. M says that you visit her in her dreams. Maybe you could pop over and be in mine sometime? I could really use one of those hugs, you know the ones. We used to hug so tight that both of us were almost blue in the face afterwards. I thought those hugs would never end, never go away. I sure do miss them.
Do you like sweetie? She sure is amazing isn’t she? She reminds me of the best of you. Your patience, your self-less love, your unconditional love of me. I can’t help but think that somehow you had a hand in all of it. Speaking of which, was that you who came to the wedding and flickered the lights? It was the part of the sermon where +Mariann said:
That’s what “sacrament” means: ordinary
things—bread and wine, water and oil, conversation over breakfast, a walk in
the park, dancing through the night—become for us signs, symbols, channels of
I think it was you. Its hard getting used to you in a non-physical form. OK – you know how I feel about it, it sucks. I can’t seem to get the hang of you not being physically here. And the questions! Shit… they are never ending. I swear when we meet up in the ever after, you and I will have a long talk, you talking, me listening and asking my mile long list of questions. You – drinking that horrible instant Sanka crap, me – sucking on a Caribou Coffee light white berry mocha with cherry.
Anyway, I just thought you should know that I still miss you something awful. Oh some days ARE better than others, and yes for the most part I get up every day and "Just Do It" like you always said. But today, today, I really miss you.
9 years. Like a flash of light, and like an eternity. I love you Ma. We all miss you.