words, schmerds.

Its like my little fingers are tongue tied, a bit of blog freight maybe. I can’t imagine why this is, I guess everyone ebbs and flows right?

When I was little, I was horribly afraid of the boogyman beneath my bed. Terrified. I used to lay in bed awake at night, and swear I could feel the bed moving, or hear the shifting of something beneath my bed. I would lay there, and open my mouth, press the air out, try to call my mom, but I was paralyzed. I would try and try and try, and no sound would come out. Just little air squeeks, that I think only I could hear. It was not even loud enough to disturb the boogyman.

Fear is such a horribly debilitating thing. It stunts growth, it stops rational thinking, it like a big steel door that stands between here and there. I long for ‘there’ but somehow lack the chutzbah, faith, drive. Fear gets in the way.

Do you ever wonder who you could be, the full potential of you, if you could just let go of your fears and really live? I do.

God, help. Get me out my head, into my heart, to the place where I can hear you say "Do not fear, only believe."

(I once posted this, and attributed it wrongly apparently, but I still love the quote)

deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we
are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that
most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to
be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the
world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as
children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is
within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let
our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to
do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence
automatically liberates others.

          Marianne Williamson


4 thoughts on “words, schmerds.

  1. To this day, I have to sleep with at least a sheet on. If you have a sheet on, you are protected. It is like a safety shield.
    I also used to jump off of my bed so that what ever was under there could not grab my ankles.
    I must have been a weird little child.

  2. I can’t sleep uncovered either. I made sure that there was a pillow behind me so no one could sneak up on me & I would move my foot back and forth under the covers when the air condition wasn’t blowing to hide any noises I would hear.
    The quote is amazing, but it kind of makes me feel just a little inadequate and that I need to try harder. Definitely makes me think.

  3. I am deathly afraid of spiders…but rationally I think I could ‘take a spider’, so where does that fear come from?
    Great post!

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