No, this is not the beginning of a really hokey sermon.
What it IS
is a reminder to myself. The last few days I have started and stopped a few attempts at a post. Each one started with the best of intentions. They would start by trying to justify my irritation, by masking my outrage with a joke. I would start to tell a story, about work or about GAFCON
or about my health, and found that the only thing I wanted to do was bitch.
Each time I would get most of the way through my post, I would stop and listen. I did not like how I sounded. So, just like ma used to say, if you don't have anything good to say, better to not say anything at all. Well, now I think I understand why.
Verbalizing, or putting energy to negative feelings, experiences, thoughts only makes them more real, more present, more MORE. So, I have stopped myself mid-post, thought better of it and have not posted (for a few days now).
I think my note from the Universe really sums up the best advice that I have been repeating to myself over and over and over again. Maybe you might find it helpful too?
Always keep in mind, Rachel, that no matter what
has happened, you did the very best you could. And so did those who may have let you down.
Thanks for helpin' me to keep it real God. I love you, and am glad you love me too. Amen.