These past few months have been quite an adventure, and as in any good adventure story some losses and hits come along the way. This is most certainly the case in my life right now, the most recent casualty is my job.
I have given myself over completely to the depression/healing process, with hopes of knowing how better to manage in the future, and even more–to LIVE in a different way. This past week, I think I have gotten a glimpse that it actually might be working.
A shift has happened. I am seeing, feeling and hearing things I have not experienced before. Boundaries, limits, desires, and daydreams are starting to creep into my consciousness, slowly ever so slowly, like a curious kitten to her first catnip toy.
Here is where you come in friends, this is what I am in desperate need of your help with.
- Who do you think I am? What words or ideas come to mind when you think of me? And then,
- what kind of work do you think I am cut out to do?
Now don't go answering one question without the other. I think that each answer will reveal a bit about me. I am asking for you all to be my mirror, my catcher of dreams. (I know that the dream-catcher is to catch the bad ones and let the good ones pass through, slide down the feather into my dreams, but just go with me here.) I want you to help me think further than outside of whatever box I have for myself or that you have placed me in ie. religious, restaurant junkie, "fat", queer, female, funky, christian, etc. Actually, there is no box. Just possibility. Based on what you know of me, what should be my work in the world?
As many of you know–the basis of this blog really–for a long time I worked in restaurants. Then when life served up to me a huge fork in my road, I suddenly started to (metaphorically) sling bread and wine instead of (literally) slinging hot plates & cold beers. Now, truly, I am just not sure what to do. I am paralyzed with possibility and terrified of just doing the same old same old and not taking this time to explore what I feel like is just lurking around the corner.
I need your help. Help me discern what is next. Be honest–frighteningly so please. If you never respond to another post of mine, I hope that you will respond to this one. If you want to send your thoughts by private message or email, that is fine too. But please do chime in. I think some big thing is coming, and I am hoping you, my friends, will help me see it.
Conversation, to be continued…