timeout: I won’t grieve you when you are gone 2009

Rachel circa 2009
Yes, I will finish the Yusuf/Ireland story, it really is too good not to tell. I have started writing it a hundred times, then somehow I get lost in a different thought, a moment, or get distracted by something shiney–oooooh! Anyway, as long as this is my last post of 2009, I have a few things to reflect on and I am not going to let unfinished business get in the way, yet again.

2009: What can I say about you? Nothing personal but holy shit, good bye. But also, thank you. 

  1. A year mostly marked by my total and complete submission to depression. And holy shit-balls if I am still in the thick of it. But, for the first time, I am not running away, pushing it down or aside or in. Nope, I am fully in it, dealing and working my way out.
  2. General Convention for the Episcopal Church: IntegrityUSA, Episcopalians for Global Reconciliation, and a whole lot of Episco-geekery. All in all, I liked summer camp with my episco-pals. But it was hard work–and looking at it now, from a distance, it nearly killed me. So glad I got to do it, met some amazing people, many who I would consider as close and loved as my own family. Next time, two words: self care.
  3. Face-crack, tweeter-twattering and social media: My blogs and writing have suffered in 09. However, I have learned a lot, connected with some pretty fabulous folks—some from the way back machine, and some I have only met online. I miss my bloggy friends, their lives and the conversations that are more than 140 characters long. I have been a horrible reader and commenter.  I will be looking for ways to swing the pendulum back the other way, towards writing and connecting.
  4. Real food. Its taken me nearly all year, but I think I have finally made a huge dent in the crap in crap out war. Supplements, more water, a more color-filled plate, less to almost no processed food. Now, I still have a HUGE way to go on losing weight and regular exercise, but I finally feel like I know what goes into my body and accept responsibility for it.
  5. Lost my girl parts and got a hysterectomy. It just is quite frankly the best decision I ever couldn't wait to make. I am not kidding when I say I wake up almost every day grateful for it. Seriously.
  6. I left my job and am not sure what is next for me in this department. I bid your thoughts, suggestions, prayers, ideas, connections, job offers. Will I remain a church professional (now THAT is a weird term), will I go back to slingin' drinks? Will I head in a totally new direction? School perhaps? Will I finally open or at least start to make actual plans towards opening my own joint? Its all a blank slate in 2010. Still hoping to hear from you on this post.
  7. Travel in 09 was wow, a lot now that I think about it. Denver, Atlanta, South Dakota, New York, Anaheim, San Francisco (twice!), Boston, the cabin and Eau Claire in Wisconsin, and who could forget, Dublin Ireland. Incredible. Blessed.
  8. Christianity 21. Mind is still reeling and blown. Too many people and moments to mention, but you–yeah you–you know who you are. Changed. My. Life. So grateful.
  9. My beautiful partner still loves me, is about the most beautiful, most often breath-taking woman I have ever met, and call beloved. Truly, still going strong in honeymoon phase 3+ years in. I love you sweetie, more than words.

So those are the highlights (and lowlights) as I can remember them. Of course there are many more (family moving, church hopping, new blog, book reading, friend meeting, etc.) moments not captured above, but I am looking forward to welcoming in 2010.

Welcome 2010. I am open for whatever you got. Bring it.


7 thoughts on “timeout: I won’t grieve you when you are gone 2009

  1. This was the first blog post I read this year and I love it. I’ve commented more extensively on the one you link to. Lots of love for 2010.

  2. Great bird’s eye view of your year. Thanks. I, too, am glad to bid 2009 goodbye. Lots of good moments for me, but oh-so-many hard ones as well. I’m still trying to figure out the balance of social media with blogging/reading/writing. Addictive leanings make it challenging. Here’s to a great 2010, my friend. And I still maintain that y’all need a repeat trip to Denver!

  3. Thanks for what you wrote Tess–SO grateful for your wisdom and think you’ve given me much to think about! Cecilia, Mindy–hi friends! Oh how I have missed you. Happy 2010 indeed.
    Amy, you can COUNT on that trip to Denver. It has to happen. Lets figure that balance thing out together, ehh?

  4. I’m so excited to keep up with you through your blog this year! I, too, am optimistic for 2010…there are things that are going to happen!

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