wrapped

When you can do the common things of life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world. –George Washington Carver

Gosh, it’s funny how much life can change and then … not really, in a matter of weeks. July 20th I turned 39 (for the first time). I asked my facebook friends to offer me a favorite quote, lyric, poem, or saying as a gift instead of wishing me a happy birthday in the common way. Twelve days later my father died. It still feels like I the air was taken from my sails, that my forward motion suddenly stopped. His death knocked the wind right out of me. I wasn’t ready. None of us were ready. But then you never are, are you? How can you be? Words like massive, sorry, sudden, grief, mess, and heartbroken are just a part of the lingo in this new landscape. Tears fall, sometimes on command, sometimes in the most unexpected random places.

I have had a hard time writing more than 140 characters because I just keep hearing the same things over and over and over again in my head. I think “sheesh if I am sick of hearing me…” blah, blah, blah, sad, sad, sad. But I have this desire to push it out and keep saying whatever comes, even if it doesn’t make sense. I want to give it freedom. Release. Air. Space. Somehow make it real, like the messy miraculous process of a worm becoming a butterfly. I’m wrapped up in my own chrysalis right now.

To try and help push some thoughts out–as reminded by a beautiful friend–I thought I would start grabbing quotes from the birthday gifts given to me on my facebook page and use them for fodder.

The quote at the top is from my dear friend Barbara. I met Barbara working for Integrity last summer; she has become a dear friend. Her laugh takes up a whole ballroom and her generosity simply cannot be contained. Both Barbara and my father seem to have this quote down. There is nothing common about anything either of them does or has done. And what a beautiful gift that is.

Thank you Barbara and Dad for helping me to see that nothing, no one, is common. Each being, moment, person and thing is unique and loved.

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