mama i’m coming home

Ma,

Ok, so maybe the Ozzy reference is a bit over the top, but I’ve got news! Perhaps this news is a bit more ‘Welcome back Kotter‘ than the sad death dirge of Ozzy. But well, you know me, always one for a bit of flair and drama, right?

Do you remember my first job—Chuck E Cheese—being the birthday hostess with the most-ess? Do you remember how much I loved it; making new friends from other towns, being really good at something, growing up and experiencing so many of my firsts? You had a front row seat to some of the most formative learning moments of my (non-academic) life. And here we are 25 years later—and I am embarking on the same journey. Yes mom, I am going back home, to where my heart is, to yes—a REAL job—one that has been with me since the beginning, the restaurant business.

it's not you, it's me Jesus.

You remember right, when you disappeared I was working at the Bryant Lake Bowl (my favorite job, ever)? My mentor Luna—she believed in me like I think only you had up until that point. I was doing really well there. Then you left and well, my whole world came crumbling down. I lost my moorings, my anchor and was set adrift. Without you, I turned to the only place I thought would have the likes of me, Jesus. (ok, to be fair, I gave myself to the Lord, I thought it was the right choice, and maybe it was for a time) And working “for the Lord” well it was good, for a good long while.

But then, it wasn’t. Like, it really really wasn’t. It was like a cliché breakup: “hey Jesus it’s not you its me.” It was horrible: the guilt, the shame, what was wrong with me?  I couldn’t figure out why it wasn’t working, it just wasn’t. Now, I know. Like a late in life married man who has known he was gay all along, but tried to make a go of a “real marriage”… but you know how this story ends. I am coming out.

I am a restaurant geek, always have been. And recently, like Luna before, some really great folks invited me to meet, we talked, and they think I am exactly the person to do what they need done. I am so happy I can hardly even stand it, and feel joy like I haven’t had since you left. I feel alive again.

Mama, I’m going home.

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Details of the gig: I am leaving Capella (which has been so good to me) to become the Assistant General Manager of this really great new restaurant.
http://www.pizzerialola.com/
Reviews of the joint:
City Pages, VitaMN, Heavy Table, and Minnesota Monthly

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5 thoughts on “mama i’m coming home

  1. Yay! You know, Jesus wants you to be happy and really truly authentically YOU!!!!

    Delighted at how happy you sound.

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