Day off, at home, on the sofa, catching up on my favorite prime time network show—yep, what else but GLEE. Its been since the SuperBowl that I’ve watched (yes–its been that long) and wouldn’t you know, it happened. Ohhhh, I knew it would. It started back at the awful “Rocky Horror” episode; the way they dealt with “trannys”. But then, in the episode titled “Blame it on the Alcohol“—well I am so set off, I can’t help but write a few lines.
Spoiler alert: if you haven’t seen it in this episode we are presented with a few topics: teenage inhibition and losing it through binge drinking and bisexuality. OK, yes I am biased, these were the themes that I picked up on. I am sure there are/were others.
Problem number 1: questioning ones sexuality (or gender) is something acceptable to bully about. Right, like decide or I am going to hate you, or worse call you names and/or kick your ass. Like art imitating life, Blaine—the love interest of Kurt, is made fun of by Kurt (hello, the gay character, of course) because he opens himself to the mere thought that he might have a spark with Rachel, a woman, thereby rendering his gay card invalid. Oh the horror. Kurt, pushes—rudely—so sure in his stance that Blaine is GAY, like 100% gay. Even going as far as to try and console poor Rachel, ahead of time, as if.
Seriously, what the fuck is so frightening or threatening about questioning ones sexuality or gender? Or about trying on intimacy with someone of either gender? Just because you may have questioned in the privacy of a childhood bedroom, during a secluded walk in the park or only in the corners of your mind—that does not make it any less real or any less normal. Blaine answered the bullying well, letting Kurt know he was the last guy on earth who should be bullying (hello, do you hear me gays and lesbians?)—but of course another kiss – sober this time, and well, that does it. Secure and settled, definitely gay. Oh Lord that it were so clear cut? That bisexuality is just a drunken phase thing, surely able to be settled in a kiss. Gag me with a spoon. Barf.
Problem number 2: that the two are even connected: drinking & promiscuity, leading to questioning ones sexuality. Then making the interest happen while drunk, come on. Look, I have done some downright sexually raunchy things in my day from getting “loose on the juice” but lets get real. Turning someone gay or straight and needing to be intoxicated to go there, just dang sad. And also, fantastically wrong.
Perhaps those who are so settled in their gender or sexuality, aren’t and are afraid of what if? Perhaps if we could all get real about our questioning—past and/or present. Maybe if we see our sexuality and gender as a gift and blessing, one that is not an artifact of who we are, but rather is an ongoing story unfolding in all of our lives. That we could be more concerned about the safety of our bodies—keeping them holy and loved. That we wouldn’t need to pollute ourselves with shame and fear, drugs and alcohol, in secret dark places—but rather that we urge one another to love no matter the shape of that love.