amazing grace: the story cont.

Its Thanksgiving morning, and the bird is in. In these few spare moments between cleaning and peeling, the story continues. Thank you for following along friends. For Jason, for you, for family—blood and chosen—I am so very grateful.

I asked him, using some pretty choice words, who _______ are you (anyway). Instead of launching back, going all eye for an eye style on my ass, he must have heard me in there somewhere—and offered a most sincere, stunningly vulnerable reply. Yeah, from the guy who just called me all sorts of names—GRACE. Damn. What else could I do but receive this gift? This was my reply.

Thank you for taking my question seriously. I believe we are never just words; we are a bunch of words that make up stories, rooted in history and context … People are rarely the hurt they sling at each other, and almost always I have found, there is some sort of thing itching beneath the surface of whatever it is we put forward to defend our skin. This is most certainly the case with me.
I have read and reread some of my posts, listening for what you heard in Germany. Here is what I can tell you.
I am an evangelical, but not one that on the surface other evangelicals would be able to point to and call me a sister in Christ. I am queer – but SO MUCH MORE. I am bisexual, in that I have been deeply in love with men and women–and have not had difficulty moving between sexes to find intimacy and love. I WISH that I would not be judged the way that I am, but I suppose that is not different than anyone else with some sort of uniqueness.
Though I choose to speak from my uniqueness, and have a distinct voice that speaks from my context and place, my hope is that others can join me in the conversation, without needing to bully me, convert me, or tell me I am wrong. I give people that respect – I think – and hope the respect comes back to me in the same way. I felt attacked – but now feel like you have let me in, just a little, perhaps. I will not attack you.
Jason, how might you and I have a conversation about all that you are thinking about, all that you are exploring? Are you looking for safe spaces to ask questions? Are you willing to have me, a total stranger, walk along side of you in your searching?
Your voice out of nowhere has stopped me in my tracks, and I am interested seeing where your journey leads. I am so very sorry for your losses. In my life, it has been through grief and loss that I have found out more deeply who I am and who I am called to be. My door is open to you.
May this Thanksgiving Day bring us beauty, health, love and gratitude. Amen, let it be so, amen.

p.s. When you are sitting down to eat today, would you stop for a moment and say a prayer (or think a kind thought) for Jason’s family, assistant, and friends? And if you are with someone who has come into your life in reasons beyond your comprehension, will you reach across and tell them you are so grateful for them today and always?

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