marking time

Come, come, whoever you are
Wanderer, worshipper, lover of living
it doesn’t matter
Come, even if you have broken your vow a hundred times
Come, come again, come yet again.
Ours is not a caravan of despair.
-Rumi

Today I would have met my friend Jason. In one of our exchanges I told him I had mostly stopped writing, not because I didn’t have things to write or say, but because most of my energy for writing had been poured into my exchanges with him. He wrote back and said:

I love that you write me – but sad if it keeps you from blogging…you are talented and gifted…don’t deny all the people around you from hearing your thoughts – you make their life richer because of it. You make them think.

I am not the most heavily read blogger—my stats are abysmal. Sometimes wonder if I am writing just for the attention or adoration. I don’t read all of the blogs I want to, and rarely have anything to contribute in the comments of others.  I wonder if my stories are interesting enough, I worry that I expose too much. I have stopped and started, switched platforms and redesigned a hundred thousand times since starting to write in earnest in 2006. Blogging can be such a grand experiment in ego tripping. But, the truth is …

today I would have met Jason. If I didn’t write, I wouldn’t have met him—or really—many of you. Overwhelmed with gratitude and grief, I recommit to writing once again.

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5 thoughts on “marking time

  1. If I could be lazy and somehow click “Like it” on this post, I would. Because the truth is that it’s hard to create words, and it’s harder still to express emotions. Jason was right; you make people think. You make us all -think- …whether we know you IRL or not. Even folks who come across your writings years down the road will dig through your archives and from it may find new perspective.

    Thank you for creating Rachel — and thank you for expressing yourself (when you can) from deep within.

  2. Jason was a gift. You are a gift & I love the pure positive energy that emanates from you when we see you or read your words, oh you beautiful being of light. Margaret & Lorry

  3. I extend my heartfelt condolences on the passing of your friend. I too have made wonderful friends in the blogosphere that I will probably never meet, yet they are very, very dear to me.

    I have been reading you for some time although I’m not sure I’ve ever commented. I am glad you are recommitting to writing, I will be committed to reading.

  4. Yeah. I’m pretty sucky at writing consistently too. And cleaning my house. And reading my Bible. And a gazillion other things. But I sure do enjoy reading when you DO write! :=)

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