should I stay or should I go now?

This proposed amendment stuff—it is painful. It fucking hurts and I really don’t know how I can make it to November without crying—daily it seems—because of something someone says.

I offer up words of peace and personal story and kindness, and am returned with people laughing—LOL—calling me a “bold little girl” and “cute.” People ask, truly and sincerely, why do us “gays” have to call it marriage? Why not just call it “civil union” or something that doesn’t offend?  It’s historical, everyone has always done it this way, I mean, everyone in the world understands one man one woman.

They are afraid of the fallout after the election—though I’m not sure what that even means, because no matter what happens, this proposed amendment will soon and very soon stop being proposed and it will either be an amendment or not.

People compare me and my partners desire to live as a productive contributing citizens to being advocates for bestiality and pedophilia. Read that again please. Bestiality. And pedophilia. 

When you speak, I listen. And I feel. I will no longer fight back—because I believe that love, eventually and always, wins. But also, I will not be silenced. I want you to hear from me, that you hurt me, and although I have not so far, I can and will make choices about who surrounds me and my partner—who can and will continue to uphold our vows we made before God and family—yes my friends, I count you as family. I haven’t walked away from people who are voting yes; I really don’t want to. But do me a favor, if you are one of my friends who will be, please take a moment to reflect if you really value our relationship enough to stay in it.

I am your family, Mitakuye Oyasin, you are all my relations. But some of you remind me what it is like to be in a family with a sexually abusive family member, being asked to stay quiet, and take it, I am asking for it after all, just flaunting my sexuality all over. “How can I help it?” these vote YES people are asking.

Well, sometimes it is best to get some distance to allow the perpetrator to reflect on their behavior, and to allow the perpetrated to become whole. Perhaps that time is now.

3 thoughts on “should I stay or should I go now?

  1. I learn so much from you. Thank you for the reminder of how these conversations sound from your perspective. I can feel your hurt, and it only further affirms for me that ‘no’ is the correct answer. You are loved, and you are not alone. I Cor 12:26

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